last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you never un-have a 4some
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
