So drunk its hurt
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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