I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
