All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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