IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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