Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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