so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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