yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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