it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
