my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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