She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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