she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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