And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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