And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize