Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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