I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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