Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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