ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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