I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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