ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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