Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
