I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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