And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
