she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
