I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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