what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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