So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
