So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I deserve this hangover.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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