Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is classic penis vs brain.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
