At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
