either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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