Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
