I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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