Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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