my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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