I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
