Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I looked at my own cervix.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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