remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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