I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
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I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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