this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
