The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
