why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
