But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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