Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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