He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well you can't waste a boner
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
