But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
