hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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