jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
