you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i will never coherently bang her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
