I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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