Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
