I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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