when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
