so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
