It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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