Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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