Your dad touched me again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize