5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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