I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
